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7 Subtle Signs He's Just Not That Into You

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REGISTER FOR THE FREE WEBINAR: https://claytonolsoncoaching.com/3-Keys-Webinar-2 Join The New Facebook Community to get your questions answered: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2110297722521237/ Need Immediate 1-on-1 Custom-Tailored Coaching? Click here to schedule: https://claytonolsoncoaching.com/1-hour-relationship-coaching-session ↓↓↓ READ MORE ↓↓↓ In this video, Clayton and Jack dishes out the Seven Signs That He's Not That Into You. Sign #1: He Won’t Connect More Than 2x A Week [00:29] The first point is that he won't connect with you more than twice a week. This is not about text messages but it’s about deep conversations or seeing you more than twice a week. Long-distance relationship is a different story. But in this context, if he's not willing to be in your presence or emotionally connect with you more than twice a week, then he's not really investing. What's happening is he's investing just enough to keep the connection alive but he's not forwarding or deepening the interactions in the connection with you. Sign #2: He’s Not Being That Vulnerable With You… [01:02] Point number two is that he's not being that vulnerable with you. This is a good chance just to slow down a little bit and tune in and notice how deeply he is revealing himself to you. How connected is willing to be with you. There's always a limit to how connected you can be if either of you isn't willing to reveal more deeply right. KEY POINT: Self-revelation is the key ingredient in deepening intimacy. Sign #3: He Won’t Introduce You To His Friends [02:03] The third point is that he won't introduce you to his friends. You've been seeing him for a while, yet you don't really know who he hangs out with. If he's not bringing you into his life and not introducing you to his friends, it's probably not that serious or he doesn't see you as somebody that is worthy of introducing to his friends. Sign #4: Dimensions of Relating with a Man [03:08] Point four is about dimensions of relating with a man and you might know that he's just not the one for you. If you really have what we call ONE DIMENSIONAL RELATING – there's only one domain of life or relationship that you're in with him. Perhaps you always visit each other at your houses but you never go on a trip together, you never hang out with friends, you never go to the movies, you don't go on public restaurant dates. Sign #5: Point Blank [04:08] This might seem incredibly obvious for some and for some maybe not. And it's if a man says Point Blank, he doesn't know if he can give you what you need. Other women say that her man feels like a wild animal or that he's not enough point in his life where he can really give her the attention that she wants. I For some, it's just a matter of waiting around for him or convincing him of your value: that he's gonna change his mind if he just sees how much you care about him and how much of a support you can really be. KEY POINT: 9 times out of 10, probably 99%, you're not gonna change him. Sign #6: He’s Not Including You In His Future Plans… [06:35] At point six, he's not including you in his plants. This is another way that you might notice now when he's not into you, is that he's not really furthering plans with you in the future right. He's talking about what he wants to do next month maybe he's got plans to travel, they're not co-plans. None of this is about making him wrong, it's about YOU. It's about what you want and are you getting it? Sign #7: You Feel Like You Are Doing All the Chasing [07:24] So, lastly number seven you feel like you are subtly chasing him where you feel like you are constantly initiating. And if that is the dynamic where you are consistently initiating, look if he's into you. You will know it. He will typically step forward and there will be initiation on his part that is more than twice a week. We've got a webinar coming up that you can register: https://claytonolsoncoaching.com/3-Keys-Webinar-2 We talked about how the dynamic that goes into a man claiming a woman. It’s one of the points. And how to position yourself in a way where you are not strong-arming him into trying to commit to you but rather you are setting up the dynamic to where it's completely his choice and he wants to do that. REGISTER FOR THE FREE WEBINAR: https://claytonolsoncoaching.com/3-Keys-Webinar-2 This free webinar contains valuable information for women who want to discover how to end the cycle of relationships that go nowhere without the pain of settling for a guy that you don’t really want. In your corner, Clayton Need Immediate 1-on-1 Custom-Tailored Coaching? Click here to schedule: https://claytonolsoncoaching.com/1-hour-relationship-coaching-session CONNECT WITH ME ➜ FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/ClaytonOlson101/ ➜ INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/claytonolsoncoaching/ Share this video: ➜ https://youtu.be/rlF9OPrpeSs
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Text Comments (170)
Holly Conger (1 day ago)
Don't worry so much about him.....focus on what u want.
Sky Rune (2 days ago)
I don't want to get the signs confused XP. 1) We see eachother and talk basically every day XD 2) He says some stuff about his dyslexia, and colorblindness 3) Unfortunately, small school, I already know all his friends XD 4) Unfortunately, not that close to each other XD. It'd be very awkward at this level of closeness for him to ask me to go somewhere XD 5) No, he hasn't really XD
jacqueline schael (3 days ago)
If it doesn't feel right is not right.
victoria thompson (6 days ago)
He said he wanted to date me and never took me out yet he talked to me for 8 months. Deal breaker! I deserve a man who will offer to take me out for some adventure at the very least.
Ms Nobody (6 days ago)
God sees what Men does to Women intentionally. Now the best part is Karma is a bitch. Eventually they will pay for it once their Debt is Due. Just saying.
Selia Ashida (11 days ago)
Men really don't get it the other way around... how does a girl let a boy down easy...
Cindy Jones (12 days ago)
Why don’t know your after five years no I your not I see your what have on the line I’m not in that line
Cindy Jones (12 days ago)
Got it
Marriet Visser (20 days ago)
Stunning. Thank you guys.
Ms Peggy Lee (21 days ago)
He doesn't want to meet your mom or do important family gatherings after over a year of dating/chasing.
Penny J Johnson (25 days ago)
There are another few. He immediately shifts any conversation of vulnerability in getting to know him, or his true feelings to sex, starting with sexy flirting and then a downward spiral to getting him off. Another clue that there may be with someone else he is seriously involved with and he is not into you, is he leaves no records, no trace of anything he does with you, and his phone is anonymous. He always pays cash, and when there is something he wants to do, he asks you to make the arrangements and pays you back. This little video has some of the best advice for women I have seen online, ever. Thanks guys.
sponge bob (25 days ago)
One sign -you're not sure. If you're not sure, he's not that into you.
Kathryn Marrow (25 days ago)
Holly Golightly (30 days ago)
Yes to all this. I just told him to get lost from my life
Senada Pasic (1 month ago)
Iots of men don't want to share their significant other with their friends.
Cindy Jones (1 month ago)
F you people shouldn’t listen to your lie it all for you and your married if that you can’t handle her at she your boss your just a pig and she is to you to are not an and example of what a person should be like I look for in dating or someone for a permanent life because you want 50 other girls on the side and you think it’s all right that’s not really a life
brailin e (1 month ago)
My guy at really weird. He asked me why I like him to so much. I guess hes really insecured. I did met hes mom.
beautifulme (2 months ago)
How long should men get to prove themselves worthy of being with or for women to realize that they are just wasting their time?
Antinitia Hardy-Hatchett (2 months ago)
Hi! You guys are so awesome... I love the idea of not just one man but a genuine perspective of two men regarding relationship issues. I have been dating an old classmate of mine from elementary school for 7 months. This guy is constantly complimenting me on my internal and external beauty and he brags about wanting to make me smile and seem to be genuinely concerned about my well-being he's even told me that he cares for me and has deep feelings for me. There's so much more but you get the picture. They're even times he seems a little jealous and then he apologize for it but, when I asked him recently what he felt about us slowly getting into a relationship... His response was "as much as I care and like you I cannot be the man you need me to be at this time." I appreciated his honesty and so I started backing off a little bit. He did not like that he continued to pursue me call me more ask me if I still care for him so I don't know if this guy is confused or he's afraid i might hurt him. Maybe you can shed some light on my situation. Thank you so much!
Farhiya A (16 days ago)
Believe what he said...ghost that man...he is not ready for marriage.
Curii Neal (2 months ago)
Very helpful!
Cassandra Williams (2 months ago)
Thanks for the info
Kara Gill (2 months ago)
All signs point to YES...he initiates time together more than 2x a week, we have great intimate conversation and connection, he introduces me to EVERYONE, we spend time outside of the home and he includes me in future plans. BUT he won’t/can’t commit to me. WTF?! This has been going on for a year! Thoughts?!
Georgia Girly (29 days ago)
Same here. We communicate regularly, when he's not working. We each have our own place, but have spent time going places and doing things together, I've met the friends, and we're exclusive. BUT.. I don't know what our future holds, because I don't know what he wants. Still trying to figure out how we, or if we, are going to merge. Going on 9 months of our relationship. Sleeping alone is such a drag. Any idea?????
Nice video
George was vulnerable with me like Michael also was but first one kept me in secret as just was a narcissist. Got to say was really surprised he died cause of broken heart
Roxann Gallimore (3 months ago)
Morton Carol (3 months ago)
I would never chase a man. To me that is lowering my standards & quite insulting!!!
Carmen (3 months ago)
I'd like to point out that if you are with an introvert, he might not connect more than 2x a week but your conversations are deep and meaningful. He doesn't introduce you to friends because there are none as he is a loner after work. If all the orher things are given and he is introverted I think it would be wrong to think he doesn't love you.
Tiny F (3 months ago)
Should a woman ask a guy if he is not interested, or let him break up, or she breakup first?
Stella Ercolani (4 months ago)
Who cares he,s the wrong guy. Lots other better out there tee hee.
Vixinaful (4 months ago)
"If hes into you you will know. he will initiate contact and its usually more than twice a week" TWICE A WEEK?! Mine initiates once every three MONTHS! :'( Fuuuck me.. NEEEEEEXT!
Chasiraw (29 days ago)
Kwamz This comment has me DEAD!!!!!😂😂😂😂
Vixinaful (1 month ago)
+Kwamz Turned out he was autistic. I nexted him.
Kwamz (1 month ago)
Every 3 months?!! Wtf is he in the military??!
Copenhagen dip (4 months ago)
What if you do like her but accidentally do those things
Sarah S (5 months ago)
He tells me he’s mine and then doesn’t text me good morning, takes 6 hours to responds to my text then texts me 2 lines, one with 3 words and one with “have a blessed day 😍”. We have two kids, we are exes but we hung out once in a blue moon, and had been calling me about every other day. He says I’m the only girl he’s slept with since we broke up and he’s not seeing anyone else. I feel like he’s playing games with me
Angelika D (4 months ago)
Anne Mann 💕
Anne Mann (4 months ago)
Yes...you are being played...not your fault though...men who are interested in the woman call or text often...if you want proof just pay attention to the amount of men sneaking outside with their phones hanging on every word out to the sides of the house and yard while the girlfriend or wife is in the house. happens every day of the week.
Patience Sethibe (5 months ago)
That helped a lot
Beverly Joy Aguila (5 months ago)
So he is just not into me...
Sunny Chic (6 months ago)
hmmmm, I do most of the things you guys are listing and I am really into this person and love him but I'm a single mom and focused on my son and me and our life and making a living and I can't have too much emotional distraction (perhaps it's a fear of intimacy) so I do think there are exceptions to this. So I guess I'm not that available, time wise, but when we are together it is a deep heartfelt connection
Chi chi Chips (6 months ago)
What about dating professionals like lawyers police officers and fire firefighters? I’m dating a police officer and he is genuinely busy and closed off when it comes to work ...but he does talk about the future that includes me but he hasn’t officially asked for a relationship with me
AllaCinderella (6 months ago)
THANK YOU!! Believe it or not, you’re the first relationship “coach” video I’ve seen on YouTube that gave VALID reasons NOT to pursue someone, not just stupid obvious ones to shamelessly promote themselves. (I’m one of those individuals who was told by my love interest that although they love me, they can’t give me what I want someday - for me that’s children.)
Regi Z (6 months ago)
love love love much love! Good work!
Eggplant man (6 months ago)
I love what you guys said and it was just the most mature teaching about love relationship. Much thanks for reminder.
Shama Shaikh (7 months ago)
guys are players
Bette Salinas (7 months ago)
Hi Alexandra. Thanks for the advice. I ended the relationship.
Judgment Proof (7 months ago)
I really like the dessert on the right in the checkered shirt! 😍👍
visadklline (7 months ago)
Great advice! I'm almost embarrassed to say I am 47 and this video resonated with me!
Victoria Heart (3 days ago)
visadklline You’re not alone Doll. 😞
Virginia Jayne (7 months ago)
Why should men be the deciding factor?!? Either we are who they desire... changing ourselves to meet their primate ways or we are old maids. Honestly love comes unexpectedly and randomly. We pick each other .... No one should have the upper hand.
bleszczynski2317 (3 months ago)
Virginia Jayne I agree with you!!!
Sinthiya Premra (7 months ago)
All these are happening in western countries .we don't care of anything they talk here.nothing related to our culture or anybody There.we listen and read and the throw it away.
Anne Mann (7 months ago)
I have some to add to the signs...this can apply even when you are married to him...he always is asking how other women think...not how you think...he will not make eye contact when laying next to you...when out at a restaurant he is constantly scanning the room for other women or talks on his cell phone constantly like you are not there...he constantly wants to change the subject of whatever you are talking about...if you are married and doing yard care together.. he goes outside while you are inside and goes back inside once you go outside...and it happens all the time not just occasionally...if his arms are crossed in front of him while talking to you.. if he Pat's you on the back at public gatherings...and if he looks above your head at the wall when speaking to you instead of direct eye contact. Also a few other telling indications...secret accounts online...telling you he is too busy to call and just find out how your day is but he is constantly texting and calling others...also the two of you go to get some exercise but he leaves you at the track or runs up ahead of you like he is not with you...but he finds all sorts of energy to walk or swim with other women.
ruhi samani (1 day ago)
Sex Addicts are incapable of loving anyone, they just use you for sex.
ruhi samani (1 day ago)
He sounds like a 'Sex Addict' who pretends to be a single man, as hes benifiting from a married life at the same time. Sent him to 'Sex ddicts Annonymous', fellowship and go to 'Love Addicts Anonymous' yourself to be informed about these kind of unavailable relationships. Good luck. Both groups infos. are on line.
Amazing Grace (2 days ago)
He doesn't love you. Clearly
Lori Owens (8 months ago)
He isn't into me? Fucking good. He can carry his ass on down the road say he is into another lady just to fuck her over also. Get gone
exitcheese (8 months ago)
Oh well, I guess I learned my lesson. So now I look forward to letting the right one in☝👐👐👐
Magana (8 months ago)
The question I do he ask when I can met your father.
Bette Salinas (8 months ago)
Yes he treats me like that. I am confused because recently he bought a cellphone for me.
Tanya Stevens (5 months ago)
Sunny Chic (6 months ago)
Alexandra--- Just because that was your experience does not mean that is the case with Bette!! You are really projecting
Alexandra Tensek (7 months ago)
Bette Salinas that's bait to keep you on a string and keep you there for his convenience. A narcissist I once went out with did that. He could see everything I was up to on the phone as he got the bill. Get out now!! You will get nothing but heartache from this man. All the best.
J Lo (8 months ago)
I was with a guy who did more than half of the 7 points. I sort of knew but stayed with him anyway, kinda betting on him not finding someone better. And we split up after 2 years of this semi relationship when he met someone he was actually into. Silly me.
Stephanie Del Angel (9 months ago)
What if a guy dissapears on a " i need a self reflection " for myself trip ? if a guy goes on a soul searching alone and does not take the girl with him
Anne Mann (6 months ago)
Stephanie Del Angel ...this is what I have learned...I was seeing a guy a few years back...all of a sudden he told me that he needed some space...he was not getting sex from me...so I thought to myself.. you go for it buddy boy...come to find out the whole time he was chasing after a different gal...if your guy all of a sudden declares he needs some away time then many times he has someone else he is checking out...not always.. but many times that is the case.
dbedazzling1 (9 months ago)
Hes not there when I'm sick.
Randi Jones (9 months ago)
Even if he is at the end of a divorce?
Chydova (9 months ago)
He is not into me...I need to back down, cause he just seems to like my friendship, nothing more. Only likes meeting up in a group, messages me once a week when he has questions, and doesn't seem to open up. God give me the strength not to respond to him when he messages me next. I need a better man!
Andrea De La Rosa (3 months ago)
Istvanski (4 months ago)
Anne Mann Hmmm. I sense a lot of bitterness in your comment from what you’ve experienced. Did you come to the Lord after ditching the loser you were with (or him ditching you)? I’ll pray for you...that’s if you’re still in the market for a spouse. Oh, just so you know; guys aren’t really that impressed by academic qualifications, but well done on the lack of credit card debt and I hope the college / university fees have been payed off.
Anne Mann (4 months ago)
+Istvanski I am entitled to what I know. We are over it.. I think women need the tools on board to move on quickly from men who are liars to the women instead of wasting time on them. You are entitled to what you think but so am I.
Istvanski (4 months ago)
The sheer hubris of this comment as well as the reply from Anne Mann is staggering. Just because a guy is not interested in you he is somewhat at fault? Get over yourselves.
Anne Mann (6 months ago)
Unfortunately...we are in the last days...which means just what God said it would mean...men will be lovers of self...boasting,bragging,without natural affections. most of the men have been with way too many other women by now where they cannot respect much of what the woman brings into the relationship. I have no credit card debt, quite a bit of money saved,keep myself groomed and have higher than a high school graduate degree. Still...with that being the case he still prefers to seek that which is wrong. I found him constantly on porn and other dating sites chatting up others rather than spending time with me . all I have to do is sit back and wait for him to be plucked up like all the other unfaithful ones will go through. do not fret over men like this...if you have to keep trying to rescue them...you will always have to rescue them and that is just plain too tiring on any woman. Let them go...a dog will always return to it's vomit.
Brown-Eyed Girl (9 months ago)
Wow. I’m fitting all 7 :( I’m so bummed and feeling stupid. I really believed my guy was just “too busy” but after listening to this, he’s just not into me enough. I’m sad and hurt and I wish I could change it but I can’t. Thank you for enlightening me!
Amanda Brisbane (3 days ago)
Brown-Eyed Girl sweetie - you need to go out and SPOIL yourself rotten. And IF u can - cut him off and move on. I am in an LDR and he is exhibiting quite s few of these points, but it is so much harder in an LDR because I don’t hv any body language to read. I am having a really hard time making a decision too. And what makes it worse still is that he is a farmer, and coming from a farming background myself I know how busy that life can be.
Victoria Heart (1 month ago)
Brown-Eyed Girl I hear your pain girl.😥😥😥
Antinitia Hardy-Hatchett (2 months ago)
I can absolutely relate to your emotions. I felt the same way even though I appreciated his honesty, my feelings was a little hurt. I think it's best whenever you made aware of the absolute truth to do things differently to protect your heart good luck
Andrea De La Rosa (3 months ago)
I can relate
Tiny F (3 months ago)
I hope you were able to heal quickly. Sorry to hear about your heartache
Senada Pasic (9 months ago)
Shouldn't a guy tell a woman first about his intentions before he takes her heart and body? This is why it's never real love. - the commitment is working.
P Singh (10 months ago)
Sir.. can you please answer my question...bcz it's really affecting my life. I met a guy he gave me all subtle hints thats he like me but ever i try to make it real and try to one in one conversion he didn't reply at all. I stop sending him message. I thought i shouldn't. But then i started getting so many miss calls from different no. and unkown peple start calling me, well no one said anything wrong but they all asked random useless qustions. I don't get it . And yes ...once, he told me he is a divorce( maybe 2-3 yrs ago) so I always concerned to him and try to be good to him. How long I should wait..And from his fb updates it's fells like I have done something wrong to him.
Nicole Moore (10 months ago)
You have a lot of profound truths on this topic. Great Job!!!
Bette Salinas (10 months ago)
Thank you for this. I actually set a date next week for us to talk about our relationship
Linda Geiling (10 months ago)
What if the guy walks away from u , he says he cant give u what u need. Take care of u. Or he is always getting his life together. Most recent he hung up on me n i havent heard from him since.
september luketz (10 months ago)
september luketz (10 months ago)
Probably should have stayed with my ex boyfriend. He didn't the opposite of these things. I think I got scared and pushed him away. My current boyfriend is giving me all of these depressing and unnerving signs.
Dare to Love ur life (3 months ago)
september luketz same boat girl .. be hopeful better things are coming your way
september luketz (10 months ago)
This is a bummer that this was recommended for me. 😓 Yep. The sad truth is he is showing me these subtle signs. I need deep, meaningful, intimate connections. Why doesn't he care?
Christina Baldivino (11 months ago)
How long should it be when you meet a nice man online, until he wants to meet in person? When I actually find a guy a like I get frustrated they aren't suggesting to meet. And in the other hand some want to meet right way and I don't feel ready!
MyPasture (1 year ago)
This is a crude heartbreaking awaking. Thank you!
Andrea De La Rosa (3 months ago)
Yup it really is.
Dolores villarreal (1 year ago)
He’s jus not that into me .
Josefa Rodriguez (1 year ago)
Sign #8, he makes sure the woman pays half of the check when out dining.... Thank you fellas, you're great.!!!
Corrinna Sarver (1 year ago)
He gave me an ultimatum quit my job N2 he can support me and 3 now he speaks to women on the phone and talk to them outside a day of my visit and 3 he plays a stupid game on the television when I'm there and for we don't go out on dates because he can't afford it that's what he says and 5 he admit to me that he hates that I haven't made up my mind about quitting my job this is why he is doing what he is doing to me now!! So I believe that I need to leave this relationship and we've been together for 3 years and sometimes he ignores my phone calls and my text messages because I'm not serious about letting go of my job
Corrinna Sarver (1 year ago)
I actually have several questions.. he wants me to quit my job!! So we could spend more time with each other""
Chasiraw (1 month ago)
Corrinna Sarver Sounds like he may have been grooming you in order for himself to eventually have more control over you. Be careful!
Anne Mann (7 months ago)
Whatever you do ...do not quit your job..I had a neighbor that begged his significant other to stay at home one morning.. she refused and went to work...he shot himself in the head later on that morning...if she had stayed at home he probably would have killed her then himself.
Set Free and Delivered (10 months ago)
Don't do it
Corrinna Sarver (1 year ago)
Thank you for replying back.. I was so close on doing so... but I didn't😊 what a relief
Dmarie Cherry (1 year ago)
Corrinna Sarver no....don't do it....he wants complete control of you...by him even telling you that....shows it...
crissie rose (1 year ago)
what if he never says any of those things , and is completley emotionaly inarticulate ,, emotionaly illiterate , ?
Anires Ocno (11 months ago)
+Jack Butler I love this phrase... Forgetting not to honor ourselves is the most ultimate high value woman...Always protecting from being abused and played by the player and vanisher
Jack Butler (1 year ago)
You have your choice ultimately about how important emotional literacy is to you. If a man is willing to grow in that territory you may be willing to be with him in that. If he is not, you may decide that honoring yourself means leaving the connection.
Jean Etchells (1 year ago)
That's called seeing someone hot.
Marcy Allison (1 year ago)
Is it possible to have a huge physical attraction with someone but not mentally? Lifestyles are opposite.
Jack Butler (1 year ago)
It's quite common for there to be attraction in one plane but not so much in another/others. One key is discerning how important a particular plane is to you and who you really are. I know personally mental connection is important to me.
If you're experiencing it, then it's possible.
I was being strung along by a douche bag for about 2 years, and I should've listen to my gut, and friends. He said all the perfect things, everything that I wanted to hear, until one day I sat down, took off the blinders, and put 2+2 together. I found where he was suppose to be busy, in bed, sick, you name it, but he had time to be online flirting with other women, and making posts about it, so I decided that I couldn't keep being a fool for him, and kicked him out of my life. I now know what to look for, and how to tell the difference between a player, and real man.
Jack Butler I was moving slow in my past relationship, but some players are just to good, but I did learn to slow down even more, almost to a snails pace, and the first time I feel a red flag popping up, I don't ignore it, plus I listen to my friends and family, and keep what they say in a mental file, because usually other people can see, or hear what you can't.
Jack Butler (1 year ago)
Sounds like your experience will serve you well for your future discernment. One way to support discernment is to slow yourself down so you can pay closer attention to your own intuition.
charleen hopkins (1 year ago)
yes i met a guy like that ,he,d only show off ect and not date any one
charleen hopkins (1 year ago)
i think i,m a bit one sided some times , well with some folk
Sara O'Brien (1 year ago)
There are some guys who "play games", and if a woman is into this that's fine, but they need to come out and say that, otherwise it's not nice to waste your time. Pay attention to this ladies!
Jack Butler (1 year ago)
I like what you are pointing to here. Takes two to play out certain roles in certain games.
Y Z (1 year ago)
You guys are ugly. Who the fuck would fuck you two?
Isabel Ezrati (1 year ago)
What if that is not the pace I want? I find it difficult to read these cues because I take a while to warm up to wanting connection more than once a week. Then I realize he was moving at my pace because he wasn’t that invested! Or on the flip side, I feel rushed and smothered by a gut because he wants to get together so often, after a while it’s hard to maintain boundaries and then he burns me out and loses interest. I know guidelines are easiest when addressing large groups, but what about these shades of gray?
Jack Butler (1 year ago)
I would encourage you to talk about what pace would feel good to you early in dating. I would also encourage you to talk to a man about what he's wanting and how much of an invested/committed relationship he is available for. There are plenty of men who would like a steady once-a-week type connection.
Eliza Castro (1 year ago)
He is a rejjecting insecure man who enjoys the power of control the more you care the more he enjoys using your love for him to gain power over you to hurt you, the closest people you have the power to hurt the most, I got to break out of his dominion.
Eliza Castro (1 year ago)
Well if he doesn't want you and flaunting his popularity in front of you, ignoring you it's to painful to go through, to see him yet be ignored all the good times I missed out on with him cause he prefers others company it is so over.
Wendy Lynch (3 months ago)
imanjanna (1 year ago)
I love you guys video. I have watched them all and you guy break it down! Love it!
Jack Butler (1 year ago)
Thank you! Hope you keep tuning in!
day c. (1 year ago)
In the past a guy made all the effort to call and hang out often. He would tell me with his own mouth he wasn't looking for a relationship. I didnt believe him because of the quantity and the quality of our time spent together. I waited for three years and he never changed his mind. I just started believing him. I needed things to happen that way though, to get it through my head. Smh
bleszczynski2317 (3 months ago)
Vixinaful Agreed!!!!
Alexandra Tensek (7 months ago)
day c. Same with me. I waited 6 years. Both of us divorced with kids. What a waste and I am in my late 40s. Like you, I needed this to happen to get it through my head. My value has now kicked in!
Vixinaful (8 months ago)
Its fucked up of him to do that though. Hanging with you bc you're Miss good for now but if he'd met a "better one", he'd be off within 5 minutes. So I guess you can see him as someone to hang out with for now but if you find someone better, yo can NOT deny that for this fucktard! If I were you, I'd say "You're mister Right now, but not marriage or even relationship material, I just thought you should know." If he can dish out the truth, SO CAN YOU! ..What a retard guy. Sickening..
Y C (1 year ago)
You are awesome!! Love your videos! :)
Jack Butler (1 year ago)
Love hearing this!
Thank you! Glad they are helping
Therese Meggitt (1 year ago)
This guy that works at the store kept asking me so many questions - lol! I left thinking Man -I think he likes me. He stares at me always when I go in the store. I like him seems so kind but don’t really know him.
Jack Butler (1 year ago)
Therese Meggitt Could you ask him whether he would want to get to know you more?
Rachel Kloeser (1 year ago)
I know you may not have the time to respond I understand I will be watching your you tube videos. I’m in desperate need. I don’t understand what happened or what went wrong in my relationship. We haven’t been broken up for a week I haven’t contacted him but when we broke up he said he still loved me and cared about me and wanted to be friends and I told him no. He said he had found some one else but won’t talk about her to his family. We were together for two and a half years and even lost a child together. We even talked about getting married having more children together. The day before we broke up he told me we would never ever be over. Even that morning he had told me he loved me on the phone. His family keeps telling me give him time he will come back to me. But I just think he already moved on. HELP PLEASE!!!
girija sharma (1 year ago)
Rachel Kloeser see 4.20 of the video you'll get the answer
Emma JB (1 year ago)
Rachel Kloeser I’m sorry you are going through this. It must be excruciatingly painful. Many people have been there and you are not alone. It sounds like your ex is a narcissist. Look up some info on it here on YT. He wants to have cake and eat it too. Anyone who deeply cares could not have moved on so quickly. And what complicates this is his family wanting you to wait for him. That is very dysfunctional and disrespectful to you. Love yourself first and be strong and get all the help you need and deserve from those who love you. Best of luck to you.
penelope pittstop (1 year ago)
Rachel Kloeser move on
Mark Rosenfeld (1 year ago)
Nice job fellas! I know you've put so much behind this, super pumped for what you have and are creating
Anires Ocno (11 months ago)
+Clayton Olson Coaching I love both of you having a good team up...Well done and keep it up
Yes! Thanks Mark. Much respect to all the content you're putting out there as well. Appreciate the comment as always brother.
Jack Butler (1 year ago)
Mark Rosenfeld Thanks a lot man, like what you are creating too!
Ger R (1 year ago)
Great video.
Jack Butler (1 year ago)
Ger R Thank you!
Kathleen Mi (1 year ago)
Hi Clayton, I have a bit of a peculiar situation with which I am struggling and could use some feedback! I will keep it as short as possible. I am a single mom of 2. I have been attracted to someone for a few years now. We began talking (Facebook message and eventually texting) about a year and a half ago. We’ve been communicating fairly consistently. He was in a relationship with the same girl, on/off for about a year. Beginning of September, they broke up. I’m not sure why he and I don’t talk about his dating life or mine. Our talks are about nearly everything.. flirting etc. we did sleep together twice recently.. last time was about a month ago. I’m in a difficult spot because I really cannot tell what he wants with me. A part of me feels as though he only wants something physical, and the other part is saying no.. because based upon our talks and him initiating them more than I, I would think that’s not so.. but I don’t know and I’m not sure what to do about my situation. Last week, I suggested we could talk more about what we were discussing, over dinner. We attempted to make plans but I had something going on the night he suggested and vice versa. But he hasn’t attempted to suggest another day.. he is his father’s caretaker and also lives with him so I know he has a lot on his plate, but, we haven’t hung out aside from those two nights.. and he hasn’t asked since, but merely hinted at this and that, mostly a scenario that could to something physical again (me coming over and watching Netflix). Any advice for me ? 😑
Kathleen Mi (1 year ago)
Jack Butler you’re right! Thank you for your reply. More has happened since I commented. He has been pretty stand-offish/distant these past few weeks. I’m not sure why. I assume another woman has caught his interest more. Seems the more interest I show, the less he does. I’ve read “follow a mans lead, he moves in be open and receptive, etc.” and it seems when I do, things are better. However, I’m not sure how to continue keeping it light and fun with our interactions when it bothers me that he’s been distant and sometimes ignores a text..
Jack Butler (1 year ago)
Hey Kathleen, sounds like your inclination to talk to him properly was on the right track. I would make it clear that that conversation is important to you. If he can't make time for that at some point, he's probably not that available for a real relationship with you. Sometimes though when women draw the boundary that they want more from relationship, it can wake the guy up to what he really wants.
Kathleen Mi (1 year ago)
penelope pittstop easier said than done
penelope pittstop (1 year ago)
Kathleen move on
Pam Tufnell (1 year ago)
I like the dynamic of the male brain though its interesting
Adriana Pitt (1 year ago)
Hi there clayton, I love all of your advice videos...I do have a question....What are some suggestions for a woman to do if shes interested in a man who lives long distance and their interaction is all online? And also any points that pertain to this specific video as well when it comes to online dating someone who lives long distance? Thanks again 😀
Clayton Olson (1 year ago)
Not yet! Let's get that one on the menu too.
somedaydoctor abby (1 year ago)
Great idea :) A lot of us are in this situation and the time difference makes things very difficult!
Great question and with all the likes on it, it seems like a hot topic. I'll create a video on this shortly. I'd say a number of the points apply more to same city relationships. However, being vulnerable, consistent communication and the man not outrightly saying he can't give you what you need would definitely apply.
Miss M (1 year ago)
Thank you 💝 do you have a video up of how you can convince him of your value?
Pam Tufnell (1 year ago)
no one will ever love me coz I have Aspergers and they can't connect with me perhaps I shud just stay on my own
Pam Tufnell (1 year ago)
Kathleen thankyou for your comments :)
Kathleen Mi (1 year ago)
Pam Tufnell please do not feel that way! You just haven’t met the right one! I have a 10 year old son with aspergers and I still find it difficult at times to connect on his level, but I never stop trying. My greatest hope for him is that he will grow and prosper and eventually find a loving partner with whom he will build a family. Please do not give up on yourself, or close others out! If you remain open and receptive, you WILL have someone come into your life who is just right for you! Know that god has a greater plan for your life.. even if you do not see it yet! Have faith!!xx
Bebe C (1 year ago)
Wow, I love this. Great information!
Thanks Bebe
Robbie Dickerson (1 year ago)

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